


Inadequate cakes frosted with mischief

by Keep_Sakes



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Again, Aziraphale learns new slang, Demons, Gen, Good Omens Spoilers, M/M, Post-Good Omens, accidental summon, demon portals, good omens after the book, he just wanted cake, idiots have to save the world, subtle crushes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-20 23:29:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keep_Sakes/pseuds/Keep_Sakes
Summary: ‘as Crowley never ceased to remind him, demons don’t wander off. Instead demons usually creep or prowl. Although, respectively, Crowley neither creeped nor prowled. Instead, he sauntered.’They stopped doomsday. But what happens if the world is in danger again. It seems impossible that a French cake could cause so much mess.





	1. fire has never been lucky

**Author's Note:**

> I write a short version of this but I don’t believe it did the idea justice. Good Omens is honestly my favourite show so I felt obligated to write at least one story on it. Although I feel like I’m well versed in the show (watching it about three times as soon as it came out) please excuse me if I have made any mistakes. I have tried to adhere to the cannon as much as I could. But I digress. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Most people would have said Crowley wandered off. But Aziraphale knew this was untrue. Firstly because he wasn’t most people. He was an angel of course. And secondly because, as Crowley never ceased to remind him, demons don’t wander off. Instead demons usually creep or prowl. Although, respectively, Crowley neither creeped nor prowled. Instead, he sauntered. Because, as Crowley so often explained, he had class and unnaturally acquired legs, skulking around couldn’t and just wouldn’t ever suit him. And sometimes on odd occasions he would add that factually (although Aziraphale never quite knew were this fact came from) that sauntering was a much more evil and menacing walk than any other way of moving around. ‘Because angel’ he would say ‘Insects creep and crawl. And insects are not scary’ Aziraphale disagreed with this, remembering the time when he and Crowley has gone to South America. They had discovered a spider of a size neither knew was possible. They both agreed promptly to leave the country and never go back. But Crowley seemed to have forgotten this. “So i do not creep or wander. I saunter. And i'm -unquestionably- evil and scary. Therefore sauntering is evil and scary.”

And so, for over several minutes, Aziraphale searched for the non-crawling crowley who had not wandered off, but rather sauntered off to an unknown location.

Aziraphale eventually found him in a vintage music store. He failed to suppress a giggle as he wandered in. Crowley always managed to stand out in a crowd. But the reasons why were much less visible. Many people whom passed crowley found themselves unexplainably staring at him. Maybe it was his hair or his clothes, or maybe that hint of yellow under his sunglasses. Yet, Aziraphale had discovered, Crowley's quite eccentric fashion choices seemed to be shared by the entire clientele of this store.

“What are you laughing at angel?” Crowley held a queens record and tapes that Aziraphale guessed were more bebop.

“You all look very similar,” He said with a smirk.

Crowley dropped his glasses an inch down his nose to reveal his piercing eyes and let out a small hiss “I’m much more fashionable than any of these fossils,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear and retort with a dirty look. “Now let’s go. What were we thinking about for lunch?”

“I was thinking oysters?” Aziraphale asked, already knowing for certain Crowley would agree, but asking for politeness sake anyways.

“And alcohol afterwards?”

“Obviously,”

  


The past few days had seemed strange to Aziraphale. More mischief and problems seemed to happen around london. Crowley summed it up to Aziraphale as they ate oysters and sipped on Sancerre  “It’s because of. you know. movement,” He lifted his arms wrung his hands in circles, failing to demonstrate his point but succeeding to recreate the movements of a drowning man. “Cause of the loss of the Antichrist and the fact there is no longer the divine interference of a handsome demon and an angel with questionable fashion.” He waved his hand again “upsets the balance.” He finally concluded. He finished by downing his drink and placing it down hard on the table.

“I guess so. I just have a bad feeling. We didn’t end it off at all well with our sides and-“

“We sorted those guys out, remember. We have at least a century without them. Nothing left to do now but live,” Crowley poured himself another drink and shot Aziraphale a wicked smile “think of all the fun we can have now,”

Aziraphale grinned “your right. It’s about time I live a little. Let loose as they say,” he smiled down at his plate and then up again at Crowley “Yolo!”

Crowley groaned audibly “all the new slang you could have finally said and that’s what you choose,”

Aziraphale smirked at him and shrugged.

  


Aziraphale had been in quite a few messes in him time and almost all of them seemed to involve fire. He wasn’t sure why. It just seems that anything that was on fire never seemed to have his best interest in mind. He had slowly learnt to avoid anything that flamed, scorched or burned and consequently had kept himself out of trouble for the majority of the time. Today, unfortunately, was not one of those times. In all fairness however, kitchens are not usually set alight, so he believed he could be forgiven for standing in one at that moment..

Aziraphale winced at the mess that surrounded him. His kitchen had been frosted with cake batter. His shelves fell off their mounts as the screws melted and ran like water onto the floors. What was most surprising was the Crowley that stood in the middle of the kitchen. Aziraphale wasn’t quite sure how he got there and it seemed that Crowley didn’t either as he stood, surrounded by a ring of fire his face aghast. His glasses sat wonky on his face as the frames melted from the heat.

“Angel! How the He- how did I get here?”

Aziraphale laughed nervously as he frantically flipped through the old recipe book.

“Im… Im not quite sure. You were meant to be an almond Génoise Sponge!”

“I was meant to be a what!”

“A French,” Aziraphale skimmed past the pages showing you, what he considered a much too detailed, explanation on how to prepare frogs legs, and a full ten page set dedicated to the authors love of different varieties of grapes.

“french sponge - a french sponge cake,” Aziraphale had finally found a relevant page which explained the technical workings of a creme brulee fire.

“You tried to turn me into a sponge cake? Aziraphale I swear-”

“être parti thot!” The flames roared, doubling in size. They engulfed the room before sizzling out. Aziraphale stared at the strange term which had caused the flames to cease. Must be old slang he concluded. “Are you okay?”

Crowley stuttered and mumbled for a moment, what he was saying wasn’t clear but what Aziraphale did catch were multiple strings of swear words within which were some strange but obviously Crowley-created ones.

“Just tickety-boo,” He mocked “not like one minute I was at home. And then, against my will, I appeared inside a fire pit in the middle of your bloody kitchen!” Crowley pulled off his melted sunglasses, staring at them disappointedly.  

Aziraphale’s face turned florid “I truly am sorry. I honestly just meant to make a cake and I think that I… I think I accidentally summoned you,” Aziraphale made a mental note to only make cheesecakes next time after he had added ovens to his list of avoidables.

“Summoned me?”

“Yes. well. It’s an old cookbook…”

“A coo- how the hell do you go to make a cake and accidentally ‘summon me instead?”

“Ah well…” Aziraphale dragged a finger across the list of ingredients. “I knew this recipe seemed outdated but…”

“ Give it here” Crowley snatched the book from his hands “you can’t be serious,” Crowley said with a slight whimper to his voice.

“Well I had seen those spices in other recipes! I didn’t know!”

“And the chants!”

“They just looked like authors notes. An interesting remark about how even a demon would love it,” he replied defensively. He had never been good with old French. His language struggles also always got him into trouble,

“And the blood of an innocent!”

“The what…” Aziraphale took the book back and looked at the recipe again. “I didn’t even see that…”

“Well if you didn’t add that then how-”

“I cut my finger when chopping the walnuts…” He stared down in shame at his pink-plastered finger

“Of course you did,”

He stared uncomfortably at Crowley. “Wine?”

“Good idea Angel,”

  
  


“ I thought you couldn’t summon your side?” Aziraphale asked slightly tipsy.

“Yeah well. We used to have passageways all over the world but most of them were closed because of humans trying to access them all the time. We kept a few of the lesser known ones open for convenience sake.” Crowley explained, his eyes fixated on his wine.

“Never understood that.” Aziraphale slipped further down his chair. He would never admit it , but Aziraphale had tried often to seat himself on a chair the same way Crowley would. However, for Aziraphale, trying to sit like a king of a throne turned into an old man trying to sit on a too soft bean bag. He always ended up sinking.

“Hm?” Crowley glanced up from his glass.

“Humans trying to open up those passages into hell.”  Aziraphale took a big gulp from the glass “They do some strange stuff when doing it as well,”

“ It’s like birthdays,” Crowley stated.

“Elaborate?”

“Group of humans chanting over a flaming object. Makes then feel special and happy apparently,”

Aziraphale nodded in understanding. Even though he didn’t understand at all.

So instead of trying to work it out he flicked his finger and refilled their glasses.

Crowley’s brow furrowed “Angel. That recipe book-“

“Locked it away. No ones seeing that again.” He had miracled it into several safes, one inside the other. Admittedly, he regretted this now as it appeared magic did not give the combinations for each one.  

“No I couldn’t care less about that.” Crowley sat up, “How many recipes from that have you made?”

“Oh… Well only a few. I found the cake recipes in it…”

Crowley dropped his head into his hands and groaned.  

“Oh dear…”

“Aziraphale. How many demons do you think you have accidentally summoned?”

  
  
  



	2. Two hours of searching and a punch of jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Aziraphale or Crowley enjoy searching for demons. Not the people who they meet along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I have the plot nailed all there is to do is write. And, if I’m honest, I am very pleased with the plot and very excited to write.   
> So I hope you enjoy this next chapter and the ones after that in future as much as I enjoyed writing these :)

Any morning that involves doing business before six was a bad morning for Aziraphale. To him, one of the best parts of living on earth was sleeping. Nothing better than a bed with cool crisp sheets and a fluffy pillow. But this morning was not to be filled with the comfort of bundling up in his blankets, but rather running around London looking for signs of demonic interference. Surprisingly, it was extremely difficult. 

It was obvious Crowley wasn’t taking well to the early start either. He was more reckless than usual with his driving (which was saying something) and when he spoke his words came out in grumbles. 

“I’m not sure I caught that?” Aziraphale said as he clutched the dashboard, feeling slightly ill from both, how fast they were currently going, and from trying to work out what song the car was playing. Which seemed to be Messiah with vocals by Lou Reed.  

“I’m so damned tired. Couldn’t we have done this in the afternoon? After lunch and before happy hour?” Crowley swerved between traffic without thought. 

“It’s best we sort it out as quickly as possible. We have no clue what havoc these demons could currently be causing” 

“We don’t even know for sure if there are any. But if there is, as long as you didn’t summon anyone too bad they should be easy enough to discorperate.” 

“What if they are one of the more… fractious ones?” 

“Then we come up with a plan or we send them to South America. Can’t bother us there.” Crowley replied nonchalantly. 

“Crowley! This is serious. People could actually get hurt here!” 

Crowley drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and sighed “Don’t get your tweed tie in twist. We’ve already stopped Armageddon, a few demons will be nothing compared” he glanced over at Aziraphale, whose face was slowly turning green, “and don’t blame yourself for this or whatever. I know It was a mistake and all that,” 

“Thanks,” he grinned “now let’s go thwart some demons!” 

 

Locating the demon was the easy part. It hadn’t taken long for them to sense an interference somewhere in west London. That part came natural to them. It was the finding of the demonic entity that required more skill. Demons and angels alike are able to transform into any size, shape and age they want when taking form in heaven and hell. Although for a demon to live on earth they would have to possess a body. Once in it however, they have free range to change as much of their body as they like. It is comparable to a Mr potato head, with more demonic possession and less potato. 

Two hours had been spent questioning, who Aziraphale had thought, extremely hostile humans and running around western London. Finally, after two fist fights had nearly broken out between Crowley and some very sour mouthed men, they had located their first demon. 

“Oh, I think you’re looking for Mr Beladias,” A women told them as she and her friend masticated loudly on gum. 

Aziraphale smiled at the women sweetly “And were might we find Mr beladias?” 

“He owns the old museum on the edge of Albemarle street hun,” her friend replied, pulling out a piece of paper and a pink jeweled pen from her purse. She wrote the address on one side and a string of numbers on the other “There you go sweetie,” she handed it over with a wink. Aziraphale accepted the paper and looked over at Crowley. He was staring at the woman in silence though his sunglasses. 

“Thank you ever so much! I hope you have a good afternoon,”

“Anytime sweets. Feel free to call that number if you want a specially good afternoon too,” She winked again “Your friend okay there?” Crowley could have been mistaken for a gargoyle as he stood and stared at the woman with such ferocity that even a hell-hound would have shook with fear. 

“Oh yes. Just feeling a bit under the weather. Well. we should be on our way,” 

 

Crowley took the paper from Aziraphale’s hand and ripped it in half. 

“Now what on earth did you do that for?” Aziraphale said as he snatched for the torn paper. 

“We know now where we’re going. We don’t need that any more,.” 

It wasn’t unusual for Crowley to go silent or broody but Aziraphale knew this was different. He gave Crowley a confused look before shaking his head and continuing on. 

 

Aziraphale has always been fond of museums. Always full of memories and trinkets he had remembered from his life. He loved reading about old friends and catching up on old events. Adults and children would always gather round him and listen to him talk about history. He was always being mistaken for a historian but that was always part of the charm of visiting museums. But this place was different. Even Crowley paused before stepping inside. The shop emminated a sense of dread and violence. Crowley places his hand on the angels shoulder “you ready?” 

Aziraphale nodded and he and Crowley stepped in. 

 

“Ahhh. If it isn’t Crawly.” 

 

It was Belial. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s always fun adding in those small scenes of pining and jealousy :)   
> If you enjoyed reading this I greatly appreciate every kudos and comment dropped!   
> Now I’m down to my last few exams I should be able to get the next part out within the next week!

**Author's Note:**

> If should hopefully have another one of these out soon. Just the last few exams to get through and then I will have all the free writing time I want :) !


End file.
